Just As I Am, part 3: Health and Hope For Those In Despair
Christians don’t tell lies; they just go to church and sing them.
These provocative words belong to A. W. Tozer. There are two ways we can take them. We can look to the bad theology—perhaps even heresy—that is sometimes found in the hymn or song lyrics of an otherwise faithful church. It may be indicative of how poorly we engage our minds when we allow to be sung things that we would never allow to be preached. The second way that we could understand these words is more subtle. Our mouths may sing truths that are far from our hearts.
A song that comes to mind is one that was frequently sung in our church when I was a child; it’s a song that says, “every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before, every day with Jesus, I love him more and more.” I truly wish that I could truthfully sing those words—and someday I’m sure I will. They may have been truths in the life of the writer, but they do not correlate to what most Christians experience. I do not mean to be overly critical of this song—perhaps it is one of your favorites, and perhaps it faithfully represents your experience. But I use it as an example of other songs like it that do not give a balanced view of the Christian life. David and the other psalmists wrote songs that speak of enjoyment and exultation but also of doubt and darkness; even they might wonder at this beeline-to-glory perspective.
The Christian life should have an upward trajectory, but it is not without its days when Jesus is not sweeter than the day before. Consider these words from John Piper: “Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns.”
Charlotte Elliott lived such a life; a life of disability and discouragement, but also a life of delight. Consider her words in verse three of Just As I Am—
Just as I am—though toss’d about,
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without—
O Lamb of God, I come!
Do these words resonate with you? Recall that she had committed her life to Christ over a decade before she wrote these words, but now faced a time of despair, wondering if her spiritual life were only an illusion. And lest we be tempted to think that words like this come only from a Christian who is weak in the faith, we should notice that she is actually quoting the Apostle Paul!
I love the book of 2 Corinthians because of the way it shows us the humanity of Paul. He is too often thought of as a spiritual superman. But one of the first things he tells the church in Corinth is that he and his companions had recently been so troubled and oppressed that they “despaired even of life.” Having escaped that unnamed trial, the travelers come to Troas, where Paul expected to meet up with Titus. Upon his arrival and subsequent inability to locate Titus, Paul becomes so restless in his spirit that he is unable to preach in spite of the fact that the Lord had provided an open door for him. He is so troubled that he leaves Troas and its open door to find his beloved Titus. When he eventually made it to Macedonia, he “had no rest” but was “troubled on every side; without were fightings, within were fears” (KJV).
In God’s kindness, Paul was comforted in Macedonia when Titus finally arrived. Still, the comfort did not precede the crisis; the fightings and fears were real. In the long run, Paul kept his perspective and was enabled to see the things that cannot be seen. It is for this reason that he did not lose heart and yield to despair, and his experiences are typical of the Christian life. So come to the Lamb with your conflicts and doubts, with your fightings and fears.
Charlotte continues with verse four—
Just as I am—poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need, in Thee to find—
O Lamb of God, I come!
She knows that she is all of these broken things and more. She is poor, wretched, and blind. Can you read these words and not think of the blind, the lame, and the lepers on which Jesus had such compassion? It is interesting how closely physical handicaps parallel spiritual needs. These images are so closely tied together that when we read these words from Charles Wesley it is hard to know if he is speaking literally or figuratively. (Keep in mind that his commonly used words from the 18th century may sound insensitive to modern ears.) —
Hear him, ye deaf; his praise, ye dumb,
Your loosened tongues employ;
Ye blind, behold your Savior come,
And leap, ye lame, for joy.
Is Wesley speaking of those with physical disability or with spiritual brokenness? The verse works either way you take it. We may come to Jesus as poor, wretched, and blind, but initially we come to him in an even worse condition—we are dead (Eph. 2:2). But regardless of the destitution we bring to him, he provides us with everything that we need. What does he provide? “Sight, riches, healing of the mind,” and more than this, we find “all we need” in him. Why would any of us not come to him for such help?
Those who do not come, Jesus said, are those who are not sick. Those who are healthy don’t need a doctor (Mark 2:7). There is a world around us who does not know that it needs his healing. They, and sometimes even some in the church, do not know that they “are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked” (Rev. 3:17). Do you find yourself distant from Jesus? Do you not feel a compulsion to come to him for healing and for life? Then you are very sick, too sick to know how sick you are. Do you despair of your weakness, blindness, and spiritual poverty? Then come to him. He will not turn you away.
