Ann Judson, part 4: Weeping Endures for a Night

(4.5 minutes)

Revival comes to Bradford

In the middle of a cold New England winter, the Holy Spirit began to bring light to Ann's hometown. In the preceding months, He had begun to work in her heart, but His activity wasn’t limited to just one teenaged girl. During the early months of 1806, while Ann continued to seek parties and pleasure, others were organizing religious meetings. She doesn't say why, but in April she began to attend these special services.

Warned of judgment, but given no way of escape

If she went to the meeting hoping to hear how her burden could be taken away, she was initially disappointed. Over and over, she heard the preachers tell her to respond. They warned their hearers that if they were not quick about getting right with God, one day they’d find themselves crying out, “the harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved” (Jer. 8:20). Ann wanted to be free but didn't know the way. It seems these preachers could warn about judgment but couldn’t explain the way of escape. 

For the first time, she sensed how important a Christian life was. The parties lost their sparkle, and she lost her appetite for excitement. She tried to hide her feelings; she kept attending dances and parties, but only so others wouldn’t think she was acting strangely. When the parties ended, she faked a smile and walked home with her friends. She knew she was at a point where she “must obtain a new heart or perish forever."

A godly principal points to the truth

Abraham Burnham was the academy headmaster, and he did understand the gospel. One Sunday night he explained how Satan often tempts those under conviction to hide their feelings. This struck close to Ann's heart, and she couldn't listen anymore. Struggling to keep her composure, she ran out into the garden. 

She had planned the following week to go with friends and visit a former classmate. Now she wanted no part of it. This made her anxious; she didn't want to go or to explain her desire to stay home. When the day arrived, Ann decided the easiest way out was to visit her aunt, whom she had learned was also beginning to see the light.

Ann visits her aunt in hopes of finding help

She hoped that her aunt wouldn’t ask too many questions. Maybe she’d even share some of her own story. Ann arrived to find her aunt reading a religious magazine. She hadn't been there long, when her aunt asked her to read the magazine to her. After a few sentences, she burst into tears. Her aunt gently asked what troubled her. For the first time in her life, Ann realized she didn’t care if her aunt, her town, or even the whole world knew that she was a sad and miserable sinner.

Look to Christ

Her aunt advised her not to trifle with her conscience and pointed her to Christ. Ann resolved to give up everything and be reconciled to God. Her feelings didn't fade as she travelled home. She feared that if she let them pass, they would never return. Upon her arrival, she found a crowd of students. At first, she planned to stay and visit, but her fear of drifting away returned. She was sure that if she stayed with the group, her conscience would excuse her sin and she would be lost forever. 

Afraid to let go

Ann spent an anxious night in her room. She feared that she wasn’t yet safe from judgment, but was also not sure how to find peace. She realized how little truth she had learned and how poorly she understood the Bible. In spite of all her years in church, she felt “as ignorant of true religion” as someone who lived where the gospel had never been.

The next morning, she asked the headmaster what she should do. He told her to pray for mercy and to submit to God. He also gave her some religious magazines to read. She found in those pages stories of others who had once felt as she did now, but who had been enabled to trust in Christ. This gave her hope, and she spent several days in her room, reading and crying out for mercy.